Couples and Marriage
Help for Any Relationship
Couples counseling may sound like something we would only be interested in if a relationship were failing; in fact, it is the single greatest tool that can prevent it from doing so, whether you are engaged, newly married, or have been married for years.
In couple’s therapy, the use of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Prepare/Enrich we approach couples counseling through an attachment lens, skillfully master communication, conflict resolution, and enhance emotional connection. We believe that when couples fall in love they become securely emotionally attached. And that’s a good thing. Attachment helps us feel we are known, heard, understood. We feel emotionally safe. When this attachment is threatened through relationship strife of any kind, the fear of losing this safe feeling can become overwhelming. When we are overwhelmed, we reach for certain coping patterns we have known all our lives (we shut down and get quiet or we lean in and fight). These coping styles can wind up pushing us farther apart and a painful cycle ensues.
The Role of the Therapist
The couple therapist becomes the wise observer and broker, allowing each person to express feelings in an organized fashion. They can see things through the eyes of both parties but never take either of their sides.